I had an experience a few days ago, that I've continued to think about since it happened, and every time that happens I know I need to get that experience out, I need to purge a little on what happened and how it made me feel and why it has continued to nag at me for the past three days. I was recently in a very small cafe in another city. You walked in the door and there was a counter, approximately five tables and four booths along the wall. The maximum capacity couldn't have been over 40 people. Upon walking in the door, more like being blow in the door, as it was an insanely blustery day, there was a gentleman sitting in the first booth by the door. This man was very friendly, although his speech was not understandable he gave me a greeting as I walked in the door with a smile on his face. This man also appeared as though sitting in that booth drinking a cup of hot coffee, may be the best part of his day. It also very well may have been one of the few places he would be all day that would be a warm environment surrounded by people, and not be out walking the streets on a cold blustery fall day, as it seemed possible he may have been homeless. Now, because I was at this cafe right around the lunch hour, and due to it's limited seating after placing our order, my co-worker and I had nowhere to sit, as all the booths were taken. As we were standing patiently waiting for a seat, there were two booths of women who had finished eating but were just sitting talking to each other, the man who greeted us, got up and went outside for a cigarette. It was very clear he was planning on coming back inside; he was just outside the door and had left his cup of coffee on his table. As soon as the man walked out the door, one of the tables of ladies got my attention and let me know if we wanted a table we better hurry up and sit down while the man was outside. I politely told the table of women we would not be stealing that man's table, as he was clearly coming back. One of the women again urged us to sit down quickly before he came back, and again I informed her we would not be doing that. Her response was, "Oh what is he, like a staple here?" Should it matter? Overhearing our conversation, the second table of ladies, acknowledged they were done eating and we were welcome to have their table. Unfortunately, once again because of the limited space there were other people waiting for a table so the staff cleared the man's coffee when another patron asked to sit there. Not thirty seconds after, the man re-entered the cafe with his coffee and his table being gone. Now, he, who was there first, was forced to stand, and had to purchase another cup of coffee because his had been removed.
This whole exchange bothered me in the moment and has continued to bother me through the weekend. When did people stop giving others the respect they deserve? When did it become okay to shun people or disregard them, because they are different? That first table of women couldn't urge us to sit down fast enough. Was it because they didn't want him sitting behind them, or in the same restaurant as they were? It was very disheartening for me to see that kind of blatant disregard for another person, a complete lack of respect for another human being. A person who had been nothing but friendly and polite who had likely been seeking a little refuge in this cafe, why should he be made to feel like he wasn't enough? He was a paying customer. He had every right to be there, and every right not to feel judged. I've decided this whole exchange bothered me so much, because perhaps I'm not always the person I wish to be. I have judged too quickly, I don't always consider everything another person may be going through without passing judgement, and that is something I plan on working on, being a better all around person, and being a better person to those around me. So during this season of thankfulness (which by the way should not just be the 30 days of thanks that is my facebook news feed this month, it should be every day throughout the year) I'm also going to try and make it a season of self- improvement, a season of self reflection, and a season of helping and a season of respect. I hope you all will as well.
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