All Due Respect

I had an experience a few days ago, that I've continued to think about since it happened, and every time that happens I know I need to get that experience out, I need to purge a little on what happened and how it made me feel and why it has continued to nag at me for the past three days.  I was recently in a very small cafe in another city.  You walked in the door and there was a counter, approximately five tables and four booths along the wall.  The maximum capacity couldn't have been over 40 people.  Upon walking in the door, more like being blow in the door, as it was an insanely blustery day, there was a gentleman sitting in the first booth by the door.  This man was very friendly, although his speech was not understandable he gave me a greeting as I walked in the door with a smile on his face.  This man also appeared as though sitting in that booth drinking a cup of hot coffee, may be the best part of his day.  It also very well may have been one of the few places he would be all day that would be a warm environment surrounded by people, and not be out walking the streets on a cold blustery fall day, as it seemed possible he may have been homeless.  Now, because I was at this cafe right around the lunch hour, and due to it's limited seating after placing our order, my co-worker and I had nowhere to sit, as all the booths were taken. As we were standing patiently waiting for a seat, there were two booths of women who had finished eating but were just sitting talking to each other, the man who greeted us, got up and went outside for a cigarette.  It was very clear he was planning on coming back inside; he was just outside the door and had left his cup of coffee on his table.  As soon as the man walked out the door, one of the tables of ladies got my attention and let me know if we wanted a table we better hurry up and sit down while the man was outside.  I politely told the table of women we would not be stealing that man's table, as he was clearly coming back. One of the women again urged us to sit down quickly before he came back, and again I informed her we would not be doing that.  Her response was, "Oh what is he, like a staple here?"  Should it matter?  Overhearing our conversation, the second table of ladies, acknowledged they were done eating and we were welcome to have their table.  Unfortunately, once again because of the limited space there were other people waiting for a table so the staff cleared the man's coffee when another patron asked to sit there.  Not thirty seconds after, the man re-entered the cafe with his coffee and his table being gone.  Now, he, who was there first, was forced to stand, and had to purchase another cup of coffee because his had been removed.

This whole exchange bothered me in the moment and has continued to bother me through the weekend.  When did people stop giving others the respect they deserve?  When did it become okay to shun people or disregard them, because they are different?  That first table of women couldn't urge us to sit down fast enough.  Was it because they didn't want him sitting behind them, or in the same restaurant as they were?  It was very disheartening for me to see that kind of blatant disregard for another person, a complete lack of respect for another human being.  A person who had been nothing but friendly and polite who had likely been seeking a little refuge in this cafe, why should he be made to feel like he wasn't enough?  He was a paying customer.  He had every right to be there, and every right not to feel judged.  I've decided this whole exchange bothered me so much, because perhaps I'm not always the person I wish to be.  I have judged too quickly, I don't always consider everything another person may be going through without passing judgement, and that is something I plan on working on, being a better all around person, and being a better person to those around me.  So during this season of thankfulness (which by the way should not just be the 30 days of thanks that is my facebook news feed this month, it should be every day throughout the year) I'm also going to try and make it a season of self- improvement, a season of self reflection, and a season of helping and a season of respect.  I hope you all will as well.

Sunday Un-Funday

Sunday is usually my favorite day of the week.   I either laze around most of the day preparing myself for the upcoming work week, watching mindless television, or my favorite summer time activity, laying in the pool for hours on end, or I busy myself getting all my weekly tasks done so I don't have to worry about anything during the week.  Today I decided to make it a busy day, mostly because of the unseasonably cool weekend we're having in the Flint Hills,  (68 degrees, grey, cloudy, and rainy the last week of July, in Kansas, unheard of!).  I had big boring tasks to tackle today and I was ready, or so I thought.

I started off my morning spilling hot coffee on myself.  This happens all to frequently, if I wasn't so addicted to my coffee I'd give it up for fear of covering my body in third degree burns on a regular basis.  Next I decided to start getting around for the day (had to get out of my coffee stained pj's anyway), and the first thing I almost always do is put my contacts in.  I have terrible eyesight.  Terrible.  I can't see six inches in front of my face without my contacts or glasses, and I'm not a huge fan of wearing my glasses for longer than a couple hours at a time, mostly because they slip off my nose and sit crooked on my face and I haven't taken the time to get them adjusted.  For some reason this morning while I was washing my contact to put in, I forgot to close the drain.  I wash my contacts every morning.  I close the drain every morning.  This morning, I didn't, and my contact fell right down the drain and washed away.  Needless to say I was furious with myself!  I contemplated for a solid 5 minutes taking the drain apart to try and fish out my contact, but I finally decided that would likely end poorly for me, and I just wasn't willing to tempt my luck further today.

 After making peace (barely) with the fact I'm going to be rocking glasses the next few days, I got started with some of my tasks for the day.  While cleaning my bedroom and trying to organize my space, I got hit in the head with a storage bin full of blankets, sheets, and pillows while trying to put it up in my closet, I stepped on the point of a tack that had fallen on the floor in my bare feet, and I'm fairly certain I swallowed a giant dust bunny while clearing out a stack of magazines by the side of my night stand.

After coming to the very sane realization my home was out to get me, I decided it would be safer to take on my out of home tasks for the day, which included a trip to Aldi's for groceries.  I don't know how many of you have shopped at Aldi's, but you have to put in a quarter to get a shopping cart.  I don't mind this at all.  The groceries are very reasonable, and when you put your cart back you get your quarter back.  The last couple times I've gone there I've left my quarter in the cart so the next person can use it for free.   As I'm walking up to Aldi's, glasses falling off my face, tripping on my shoestring, a very friendly looking lady is getting ready to return her cart by spies me first.  In my mind, I'm thinking, this is the very break I need in this day that's fighting me at every move, this lady took one look at my disheveled self digging around in my bag for a quarter and is going to take pity on me and give me her cart, how nice of her!  The woman proceeds to walk up to me, offers me her cart with a lovely smile on her face, I'm feeling very grateful for this small act of kindness, and then she sticks out her hand demanding a quarter.  I gave her the stupid quarter, but I still left one in the cart when I returned it for the next person having a Sunday Un-Funday.

Warning: Liberal Catholic Writing

Clearly there is an important piece of history taking place this week in the United States Supreme Court involving marriage equality.  Unless you are completely unplugged from the world you have seen media coverage regarding what is currently taking place in our country.  It warms my heart to see my news feed filled with support for marriage equality, whether it be the picture of the red equal sign, or a rainbow colored Supreme Court building, or one of those pictures with the arrow pointing to your profile picture saying, "This person is an ally and supports marriage equality", it just makes me smile.  And then the smile slowly dissipates upon seeing some posts claiming you can't be religious and a supporter.  Or because you do support marriage equality for our LGBT community, you must not believe in God, or you must not be a good Christian, or you are a marriage hater, or whatever argument is out there.  So, as I sometimes do, I decided I needed to put my thoughts to virtual paper to get them to stop spinning around in my head making me feel like a crazy person.

I am a catholic.  I also consider myself a fairly liberal minded individual.  I was baptized in the Catholic church.  I am also pro-choice.  I received my First Communion and the sacrament of Confirmation.  I also believe in contraception. One of the most calming places for me to be to this day is in the quiet pews of any Catholic church.  I also support the right of couples in love to marry and share their lives with each other and have it recognized under the law.  I believe marriage is not defined as between a man and woman for the main purpose of having children.  I give marriage and the individuals who make that commitment to one another, gay or straight, much more respect then entering into a contract and having the most important thing be procreation.

I was raised in a Catholic home.  I attended CCD and CYO and confession and mass on Sundays.  I was also raised in a home with parents who taught me to be an individual.  To use my mind.  To believe in God but also to not be afraid to question what I do not understand or what I do not believe to be right and ethical and humane. I also appreciate the fact when things happened in my life or to people I love that I did not understand at a young age, my parents allowed me to step away and figure out where I stood in my religion on my own.  They didn't force me to go to church if I didn't want to, they waited until I was ready.  I don't believe that I must attend church every Sunday for God to hear me pray, and I don't attend mass every week, but sometimes if I'm feeling particularly lost about something I will go.  It is a safe place for me among the pews.  I respect my Catholic faith but because I have questions and feel my religion is not current with our ever changing world and growing communities, and do not agree with every piece of what I was once taught as I little girl sitting in CCD, does not mean I am a bad Catholic or that religion is not important to me.  It means I am a liberal Catholic.  It means I am someone who respects the history but will still continue to advocate for change.  It means that I can still be Catholic and support social reform in many facets.  I am proud to be that kind of Catholic and that is who I will continue to be.

For the Love of Dogs

"Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made."  -Roger Caras, president emeritus, ASPCA

In the last year, multiple people I care about have lost their pets, their four-legged best friends, and it is nothing short of a devastating loss.  To lose a pet is to lose a part  of your family.  I have, my entire life, been a dog person.  My childhood always involved a dog, (our family poodle, Inky) my sisters and their families have dogs, most of my friends and people I'm closest to in my life have dogs.  I covet their dogs.  Unfortunately, I live in a place with the heinous "No Pets Allowed" rule, (dumbest rule ever!).  I did at one point believe I could smuggle in the most adorable puppy and keep him without  being caught, that lasted about three days, before I had to find him a new home.  Lucky for me, a good friend of mine agreed to be his new doggy mommy, so I still get to see him every once in a while.  

Sweet baby Cobain.

Dogs are such an important part of humans' lives.  They are loyal to a fault, love without judgement, and listen without interruption.  I honestly believe owning a dog makes you a better human being.  In honor of dog parents, want to be dog parents, and loyal four-legged friends near and far, this post is for you.  Cherish your pets, love them as they love you, without hesitation, and relish in your time with them, for they will change your world if you let them.