My Visit to the Demon Dentist

I'm aware a large portion of society has an issue with the dentist.  I am one of those people.  My entire life I have feared the dentist.  Not on the same level as I fear getting caught in a swarm of birds and being pecked to death, but fearful all the same.  Nonetheless, I have been going every 6 months for my cleaning, and fluoride treatments for several years, (although I don't get the fluoride each time because my insurance only pays for one treatment a year and it makes my mouth feel really grainy afterward).  Recently, I went for my routine cleaning, and left the dentist office feeling very very angry.  I did not really know just how angry I was until I called the office today to cancel the appointment they forced me to make before I left, and when I got off the phone today I was just as angry as I was three weeks ago when I walked out of the office.  (Boy, I can really hang on to some anger!)  What made me so angry, you say?  Well, I'm glad you asked!

My check and cleaning had just finished and I was busy patting myself on the back for a job well done on my dental hygiene care, when my bubble was quickly burst, when my thoughts of dental health superiority were interrupted by the hygienist stating, she had called the dentist in to look at my front two teeth and address the issue of "that gap".  Excuse me, what?  To make sense of my dismay, here is some history on "that gap".  When I was young I had a gap in between my front two teeth.  It wasn't huge, it wasn't disturbing to look at, but it really bothered me.  A lot.  When you're a pre-teen and a young teenager, you are already struggling with the hormones racing through your body, making all kinds of crazy foreign things happen, and any little perceived flaw can turn into a tailspin of insecurity, and that is what "that gap" did to me.  I begged my parents to let me get if fixed, my teeth were straight, I didn't need braces, so they weren't sure anything could be done to fix it.  I'm sure I harassed them and spilled many tears nagging them to figure something out, so they finally let me go to my dentist and talk to him about it and he told me he could fill it by putting a bond on my teeth closing the gap.  Hallelujah!  I swear the heavens opened and angels sang.  

This is one of the few pictures I could find showing "that gap".  I tried to hide it by smiling with my  mouth closed in a lot of pictures.  You can't really even see it very well, but this is the best I could find.  This was in 1993 I would have been 14, a freshman in high school. 

After that initial bonding I no longer worried about my teeth (I promptly found other things to be insecure about during my high school years!)  Then right before my sister Natalie's wedding in 2005, the bonding chipped, I have no idea how it happened, it's really hard to say, my lack of grace is clearly documented in this blog.  It was a simple fix and I went on my merry way, without a care in the world about "that gap", until that fateful day three weeks ago.  As soon as the hygienist mentioned she was bringing the dentist in to look at it, I became 14 again, and it only got worse from there.  The dentist came in to gawk at the freak (okay, so maybe it just felt like that in my mind) and told me, she would really suggest instead of filling "that gap", which I had not even noticed needed any filling,  I needed to get veneers.  On my six front teeth!  How did this go from a simple fill, which I didn't know I needed, to 6 veneers! Apparently you just can't get two veneers, because then I'd apparently look like a buck-toothed hillbilly, oh no, I need all six teeth done.  Then she said, if I did not go the veneer route (which really would "make me look better") at the very least I need two crowns on my front two teeth, and the kicker in all of this is insurance covers absolutely none of it, because it's all considered cosmetic, and not really necessary.  However it did succeed in making me feel like I have gnarled nasty teeth that should never been seen by the public eye.  As I sat in shock, not being able to form words, because I'm 14 and afraid to talk to adults, they wrote me up an estimate for the two crowns, which of course is their "second choice", and didn't even bother giving me an estimate on veneers. They also made me set up a consult appointment before I left, as they feel it's really important to protect the local children from being frightened by my repulsive smile. 

I walked out of there angry, and the more I thought about it, and the more I realized they made me feel like that insecure 14 year old again, the more furious I became.  Today I called to cancel the consultation appointment, stating I had thought about it and would not be needing a consultation on crowns or veneers because I'm perfectly okay with the way current teeth look.  I was asked three times in the three minute phone conversation if I was "certain", "sure", or "do you need more time to think about it" before they would accept my cancellation.  Yes I'm sure.  Yes I've thought about it.  Yes I will be finding a new dentist!