Sunday Un-Funday

Sunday is usually my favorite day of the week.   I either laze around most of the day preparing myself for the upcoming work week, watching mindless television, or my favorite summer time activity, laying in the pool for hours on end, or I busy myself getting all my weekly tasks done so I don't have to worry about anything during the week.  Today I decided to make it a busy day, mostly because of the unseasonably cool weekend we're having in the Flint Hills,  (68 degrees, grey, cloudy, and rainy the last week of July, in Kansas, unheard of!).  I had big boring tasks to tackle today and I was ready, or so I thought.

I started off my morning spilling hot coffee on myself.  This happens all to frequently, if I wasn't so addicted to my coffee I'd give it up for fear of covering my body in third degree burns on a regular basis.  Next I decided to start getting around for the day (had to get out of my coffee stained pj's anyway), and the first thing I almost always do is put my contacts in.  I have terrible eyesight.  Terrible.  I can't see six inches in front of my face without my contacts or glasses, and I'm not a huge fan of wearing my glasses for longer than a couple hours at a time, mostly because they slip off my nose and sit crooked on my face and I haven't taken the time to get them adjusted.  For some reason this morning while I was washing my contact to put in, I forgot to close the drain.  I wash my contacts every morning.  I close the drain every morning.  This morning, I didn't, and my contact fell right down the drain and washed away.  Needless to say I was furious with myself!  I contemplated for a solid 5 minutes taking the drain apart to try and fish out my contact, but I finally decided that would likely end poorly for me, and I just wasn't willing to tempt my luck further today.

 After making peace (barely) with the fact I'm going to be rocking glasses the next few days, I got started with some of my tasks for the day.  While cleaning my bedroom and trying to organize my space, I got hit in the head with a storage bin full of blankets, sheets, and pillows while trying to put it up in my closet, I stepped on the point of a tack that had fallen on the floor in my bare feet, and I'm fairly certain I swallowed a giant dust bunny while clearing out a stack of magazines by the side of my night stand.

After coming to the very sane realization my home was out to get me, I decided it would be safer to take on my out of home tasks for the day, which included a trip to Aldi's for groceries.  I don't know how many of you have shopped at Aldi's, but you have to put in a quarter to get a shopping cart.  I don't mind this at all.  The groceries are very reasonable, and when you put your cart back you get your quarter back.  The last couple times I've gone there I've left my quarter in the cart so the next person can use it for free.   As I'm walking up to Aldi's, glasses falling off my face, tripping on my shoestring, a very friendly looking lady is getting ready to return her cart by spies me first.  In my mind, I'm thinking, this is the very break I need in this day that's fighting me at every move, this lady took one look at my disheveled self digging around in my bag for a quarter and is going to take pity on me and give me her cart, how nice of her!  The woman proceeds to walk up to me, offers me her cart with a lovely smile on her face, I'm feeling very grateful for this small act of kindness, and then she sticks out her hand demanding a quarter.  I gave her the stupid quarter, but I still left one in the cart when I returned it for the next person having a Sunday Un-Funday.

Warning: Liberal Catholic Writing

Clearly there is an important piece of history taking place this week in the United States Supreme Court involving marriage equality.  Unless you are completely unplugged from the world you have seen media coverage regarding what is currently taking place in our country.  It warms my heart to see my news feed filled with support for marriage equality, whether it be the picture of the red equal sign, or a rainbow colored Supreme Court building, or one of those pictures with the arrow pointing to your profile picture saying, "This person is an ally and supports marriage equality", it just makes me smile.  And then the smile slowly dissipates upon seeing some posts claiming you can't be religious and a supporter.  Or because you do support marriage equality for our LGBT community, you must not believe in God, or you must not be a good Christian, or you are a marriage hater, or whatever argument is out there.  So, as I sometimes do, I decided I needed to put my thoughts to virtual paper to get them to stop spinning around in my head making me feel like a crazy person.

I am a catholic.  I also consider myself a fairly liberal minded individual.  I was baptized in the Catholic church.  I am also pro-choice.  I received my First Communion and the sacrament of Confirmation.  I also believe in contraception. One of the most calming places for me to be to this day is in the quiet pews of any Catholic church.  I also support the right of couples in love to marry and share their lives with each other and have it recognized under the law.  I believe marriage is not defined as between a man and woman for the main purpose of having children.  I give marriage and the individuals who make that commitment to one another, gay or straight, much more respect then entering into a contract and having the most important thing be procreation.

I was raised in a Catholic home.  I attended CCD and CYO and confession and mass on Sundays.  I was also raised in a home with parents who taught me to be an individual.  To use my mind.  To believe in God but also to not be afraid to question what I do not understand or what I do not believe to be right and ethical and humane. I also appreciate the fact when things happened in my life or to people I love that I did not understand at a young age, my parents allowed me to step away and figure out where I stood in my religion on my own.  They didn't force me to go to church if I didn't want to, they waited until I was ready.  I don't believe that I must attend church every Sunday for God to hear me pray, and I don't attend mass every week, but sometimes if I'm feeling particularly lost about something I will go.  It is a safe place for me among the pews.  I respect my Catholic faith but because I have questions and feel my religion is not current with our ever changing world and growing communities, and do not agree with every piece of what I was once taught as I little girl sitting in CCD, does not mean I am a bad Catholic or that religion is not important to me.  It means I am a liberal Catholic.  It means I am someone who respects the history but will still continue to advocate for change.  It means that I can still be Catholic and support social reform in many facets.  I am proud to be that kind of Catholic and that is who I will continue to be.

For the Love of Dogs

"Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made."  -Roger Caras, president emeritus, ASPCA

In the last year, multiple people I care about have lost their pets, their four-legged best friends, and it is nothing short of a devastating loss.  To lose a pet is to lose a part  of your family.  I have, my entire life, been a dog person.  My childhood always involved a dog, (our family poodle, Inky) my sisters and their families have dogs, most of my friends and people I'm closest to in my life have dogs.  I covet their dogs.  Unfortunately, I live in a place with the heinous "No Pets Allowed" rule, (dumbest rule ever!).  I did at one point believe I could smuggle in the most adorable puppy and keep him without  being caught, that lasted about three days, before I had to find him a new home.  Lucky for me, a good friend of mine agreed to be his new doggy mommy, so I still get to see him every once in a while.  

Sweet baby Cobain.

Dogs are such an important part of humans' lives.  They are loyal to a fault, love without judgement, and listen without interruption.  I honestly believe owning a dog makes you a better human being.  In honor of dog parents, want to be dog parents, and loyal four-legged friends near and far, this post is for you.  Cherish your pets, love them as they love you, without hesitation, and relish in your time with them, for they will change your world if you let them.

Clothing Revolution

I didn't wake up feeling great about today.  I knew I had a monster day at work, I didn't feel well, and just had an overall blah feeling, but in an attempt to shake off  the mood and not let it settle into my bones, which is actually exactly what I let happen when I last posted on here, I got myself in a positive frame of mind, put on some music and got ready for my day.  The day got better from there, or so I thought.

I have this fantastic gray pencil skirt, I love, and unfortunately I let myself get lazy recently and my skirt had forgotten where it was supposed to go when I put it on, so it has been sadly just hanging in my closet for a few months, silently crying, because it wasn't being worn.  So today was the day, I was in a positive frame of mind, I've been working out more, that skirt was getting worn today.  First thing first though, ladies will understand, before the skirt must go the hose.  Now I know most women probably have at least 10 pair of pantyhose somewhere in their wardrobe, the cheap ones you just keep replacing with more cheap ones, the ones that run if you have a hangnail when you put them on, but in the middle of the mess of cheap pantyhose, is that one pair. The one pair you spent too much money on, the one pair that seem magical, the one pair you wear on a first date when you want to make sure your butt and legs look really great.  That pair, that's the pair I chose to wear today with my favorite skirt.  I finished getting ready, was having a good hair day, my hose and my skirt were working in perfect harmony, I slipped on my new black pumps I had yet to wear and I was ready for anything this day was going to throw my way.  I was determined.  I was prepared for the unexpected.  I felt great.  I grabbed my purse, slipped on my coat and headed out the door.

Two steps out the door, I caught my heel of my new pump in the fabric bow on the toe of the other pump, fell into my railing, onto the concrete, my purse (and all its contents) went flying, I shredded my magic hose leaving a nice bloody gash on my knee, ripped my favorite skirt, ripped the bow on my brand new shoes, and hurt my wrist.  I collected the contents of my purse, went back inside, put on a stupid pair of black pants, stupid shoes I wear all the time, and went to work.  I no longer felt determined or prepared for the unexpected, or great, but I was thankful just to be wearing anything that wasn't ripped, torn, and shredded.  Hopefully tomorrow my clothes will not revolt against me and I get out of the door wearing the same outfit I had on two seconds before walking out.  

Attitude Adjustment

Today I was a grump.  My attitude was crap most of the day.  It was the type of day, where people could instinctively sense coming closer than within a 15 foot radius to me would not be a good idea.  Nothing really  happened to put me in such a lovely mood today, it just didn't start off  with a bang and instead of shaking it off, I just let it settle into my bones for the day.  This is never the right decision to make.  By the end of what turned out to be a very busy, long, non-stop phone ringing day, I was simple exhausted.  Had I chosen to not be a grump today, shake off the Eyeore-esque mood of gloom and doom, it still would have been a long busy day, and I probably still would have wanted to break all the phones in my office, but I would have done with a smile, a lot less curse words, and in a much more positive frame of mind.  I'm determined to make the rest of this week a positive up-beat week. I'm not going to pretend there still won't be curse words here and there (I really do need to work on my sailor language), but they will be flowing out of a smiling face, because in all honesty my life is pretty okay.  In an effort to create a happy mind space (a Yankee win tonight would actually be the best fix for this) a song that always makes me think I can rap and dance.  Enjoy, the one and only, Shoop.

My Visit to the Demon Dentist

I'm aware a large portion of society has an issue with the dentist.  I am one of those people.  My entire life I have feared the dentist.  Not on the same level as I fear getting caught in a swarm of birds and being pecked to death, but fearful all the same.  Nonetheless, I have been going every 6 months for my cleaning, and fluoride treatments for several years, (although I don't get the fluoride each time because my insurance only pays for one treatment a year and it makes my mouth feel really grainy afterward).  Recently, I went for my routine cleaning, and left the dentist office feeling very very angry.  I did not really know just how angry I was until I called the office today to cancel the appointment they forced me to make before I left, and when I got off the phone today I was just as angry as I was three weeks ago when I walked out of the office.  (Boy, I can really hang on to some anger!)  What made me so angry, you say?  Well, I'm glad you asked!

My check and cleaning had just finished and I was busy patting myself on the back for a job well done on my dental hygiene care, when my bubble was quickly burst, when my thoughts of dental health superiority were interrupted by the hygienist stating, she had called the dentist in to look at my front two teeth and address the issue of "that gap".  Excuse me, what?  To make sense of my dismay, here is some history on "that gap".  When I was young I had a gap in between my front two teeth.  It wasn't huge, it wasn't disturbing to look at, but it really bothered me.  A lot.  When you're a pre-teen and a young teenager, you are already struggling with the hormones racing through your body, making all kinds of crazy foreign things happen, and any little perceived flaw can turn into a tailspin of insecurity, and that is what "that gap" did to me.  I begged my parents to let me get if fixed, my teeth were straight, I didn't need braces, so they weren't sure anything could be done to fix it.  I'm sure I harassed them and spilled many tears nagging them to figure something out, so they finally let me go to my dentist and talk to him about it and he told me he could fill it by putting a bond on my teeth closing the gap.  Hallelujah!  I swear the heavens opened and angels sang.  

This is one of the few pictures I could find showing "that gap".  I tried to hide it by smiling with my  mouth closed in a lot of pictures.  You can't really even see it very well, but this is the best I could find.  This was in 1993 I would have been 14, a freshman in high school. 

After that initial bonding I no longer worried about my teeth (I promptly found other things to be insecure about during my high school years!)  Then right before my sister Natalie's wedding in 2005, the bonding chipped, I have no idea how it happened, it's really hard to say, my lack of grace is clearly documented in this blog.  It was a simple fix and I went on my merry way, without a care in the world about "that gap", until that fateful day three weeks ago.  As soon as the hygienist mentioned she was bringing the dentist in to look at it, I became 14 again, and it only got worse from there.  The dentist came in to gawk at the freak (okay, so maybe it just felt like that in my mind) and told me, she would really suggest instead of filling "that gap", which I had not even noticed needed any filling,  I needed to get veneers.  On my six front teeth!  How did this go from a simple fill, which I didn't know I needed, to 6 veneers! Apparently you just can't get two veneers, because then I'd apparently look like a buck-toothed hillbilly, oh no, I need all six teeth done.  Then she said, if I did not go the veneer route (which really would "make me look better") at the very least I need two crowns on my front two teeth, and the kicker in all of this is insurance covers absolutely none of it, because it's all considered cosmetic, and not really necessary.  However it did succeed in making me feel like I have gnarled nasty teeth that should never been seen by the public eye.  As I sat in shock, not being able to form words, because I'm 14 and afraid to talk to adults, they wrote me up an estimate for the two crowns, which of course is their "second choice", and didn't even bother giving me an estimate on veneers. They also made me set up a consult appointment before I left, as they feel it's really important to protect the local children from being frightened by my repulsive smile. 

I walked out of there angry, and the more I thought about it, and the more I realized they made me feel like that insecure 14 year old again, the more furious I became.  Today I called to cancel the consultation appointment, stating I had thought about it and would not be needing a consultation on crowns or veneers because I'm perfectly okay with the way current teeth look.  I was asked three times in the three minute phone conversation if I was "certain", "sure", or "do you need more time to think about it" before they would accept my cancellation.  Yes I'm sure.  Yes I've thought about it.  Yes I will be finding a new dentist!

If There Was a Problem, Yo I'll Solve It

Recently I have been loudly pondering the loss of critical thinking and problem solving skills I have witnessed the last few weeks. Educated, professional, adults who seemingly are unwilling to try, or rather want, to think it out before asking someone else for the answer, an answer which they can just as easily access.  An answer with an ounce, a millisecond of self pondering would be in their grasp, it would take but a moment of stopping and evaluating the situation to conclude, "Hmm.  Better not."  And then I stopped and pondered myself and was reminded of the multiple questionable decisions I have made in my life. Seriously, really dumb ass decisions; to include dating the wrong guys for way way way too long, wearing a bell sleeved shirt while shoving food down a running garbage disposal (RIP sheer maroon blouse), consuming way too many adult beverages when I have important things to do the next morning, trying to prove I can sit crossed legged on top of my stability exercise ball and balance when it's well documented I am an enormous klutz (that one left a bruise, or three).  So I concluded I will try to make it the rest of week without being such an irritated judgmental jerk. Good thing tomorrow is already Thursday.